Accidental Love movie review & film summary (2015)

Redubbed “Accidental Love” and with the pseudonymous Stephen Greene listed as director, the misbegotten comedy that has been available on VOD since mid-February will finally open in limited release at theaters this weekend.

Given Russell’s involvement and a fairly solid cast that includes Jake Gyllenhaal and Catherine Keener, just how awful could it be? Really awful. Unwatchably awful. As in, “Give it the Razzie now and be done with it” awful.

From its intrusively generic soundtrack heavy on cheesy strings to the painfully frantic attempts at supposed funny business (consider that Paul Reubens aka Pee-Wee Herman provides probably the only well-modulated performance), “Accidental Love” could easily qualify for disaster relief.

The film is in trouble from the get-go with what appears to be a faux “Happy Days” episode as a roller-skating carhop Alice (Jessica Biel) serves patrons at a ‘50s-style drive-in eatery in small-town Indiana. 

But instead of the Fonz, there is a porn-stached James Marsden as motorcycle cop Scott, who invites Alice to a fancy restaurant that night in order to propose to her. 

But as fate – along with some odd plotting choices – would have it, a repairman holding a nail gun falls on Alice during their meal and shoots her in the head.

Just as a surgeon (Bill Hader, who skirts by in a cameo) is about to remove the foreign object, it is learned that Alice is uninsured and she has no way to pay the $150,000 bill. You would think that the restaurant would be held liable, but that notion is dismissed out of hand. Instead, she is released with the warning that her untreated injury could cause her to fly into irrational rages, speak foreign languages (in this case, Portugese) and experience uncontrollable sexual urges, all of which eventually have little to no payoff in the laugh department. 

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